Lok-Dad
My wife and I became first-time parents in October 2020 to an energetic and strong-willed baby boy. Parenthood changed my life and challenged me in the most difficult and wonderful ways. Turns out taking care of a little human is not easy. Things that seem “instinctual” to us as adults are not for newborns. Things like feeding and sleeping that seem so natural to us were foreign concepts to our baby. All the research and reading my wife did before our son was born did not prepare us for the real-time struggle of dealing with a hungry and sleep-deprived baby that was learning how to survive in the outside world. I wanted to support my wife and our son as much as I can, so I put my physiotherapist skills to work and became Lok-Dad.
During the newborn phase, there is the dreaded witching hour, which is a time period during the later afternoon to evening where a baby may just cry and become fussy for no apparent reason. Lok-Dad to the rescue! One way that helped to calm our baby down was some gentle massage and body work. Before this, I had never worked on a baby but my wife and I were desperate. A gentle circular motion to the tummy helped him to digest, light effleurage to the shoulders helped to release neck tension that seemed to build up from hours of crying, upwards stroke to the back elicited burps and spit-up. Miraculously, our baby made it through the witching hour with this massage routine. My wife wasted no time in putting this new skill to work, and I was handed the baby every day between 5-8pm. The witching hour became Daddy-and-Baby massage time.
Despite being tired from work and the lack of sleep, I cherished this bonding time between me and my son. I slowly learned to decipher his cries; Was it an upset-tummy-wail? A muscle-tension-whine? Or a gassy-scream? Sometimes, it wasn’t bodywork that my son needed. It might be that he was overstimulated or over-tired and needed some movements, such as bouncing or swinging, to help calm down his nervous system. Trying to figure out a fussy baby is like trying to solve complex math equations, but I'm slowly earning my degree! I combined my fatherly instinct with the therapeutic touch that I developed through years of doing manual therapy to understand my son’s way of communicating with us and to help him regulate all his feelings. I felt myself being more present with my family as my bond with my son strengthened. Being able to see how hands-on therapy can have an effect on my son’s digestion and body tension really made me appreciate the human body and my work as a physiotherapist. Although he continues to be an enigma and throws us new challenges daily, I’m grateful to be able to combine my role as a father with my passion of being a physiotherapist.
Besides what I have been able to try out at home with my son, we have also worked with experienced paediatric therapists, such as osteopaths, lactation consultants, and speech-language pathologists, to address feeding issues we encountered with my son. This blog post is meant to highlight my personal discovery and journey on navigating life as a new father. If you’re interested in exploring bodywork or hands-on therapy for your little ones, I encourage you to speak to your healthcare provider for referrals and more information.
Three generations of healing hands!
